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NINTH EDITION
PARENT–CHILD
RELATIONS
An Introduction to Parenting
JERRY J. BIGNER
Colorado State University, Professor Emeritus
CLARA GERHARDT
Samford University
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bigner, Jerry J.
Parent-child relations: an introduction to parenting/Jerry J. Bigner, Clara Gerhardt.––9th ed.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-13-285334-7
ISBN-10: 0-13-285334-5
1. Parenting. 2. Parent and child. 3. Child development. 4. Families. I. Gerhardt, Clara. II. Title.
HQ755.8.B53 2014
649’.1––dc23
2012036311
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
ISBN-10:
0-13-285334-5
ISBN-13: 978-0-13-285334-7
This text is dedicated to Dr. Jerry Bigner,
A man both giving and gifted.
May his teachings continue to nurture future family life scholars.
With appreciation and gratitude.
This page intentionally left blank
About the Authors
Tribute to Dr. Jerry J. Bigner, Ph.D. (1944–2011)
“There is a land of the living and a land of the dead
and the bridge is love . . .”
(Thornton Wilder, 1897–1975)
Welcome to the ninth edition of Parent–Child Relations: An Introduction to Parenting. We pay tribute to
the “father” of this book, Dr. Jerry J. Bigner, who nurtured and raised it from infancy to adulthood. The work
was first conceived in 1972, when Dr. Bigner was in his
late twenties. He meticulously tended it, much like a
parent carefully watches over a child. He was working
on the ninth edition at the time of his passing, in 2011.
Dr. Bigner’s curriculum vitae was overwhelmingly
impressive, with dozens of publications, and years of
hands-on teaching and working in child-care settings
as a professor of Human Development and Family
Studies at Colorado State University. He had been a
member of the National Council on Family Relations
since 1966. He also had a noteworthy presence as the
senior editor of the Journal of GLBT Family Studies,
and was passionate about respecting human diversity in
its many expressions.
In the year of the new millennium, our professional
paths crossed. When we first collaborated, it was as part
of a project funded by The Pew Charitable Trusts. During what was to be the last year of his life, we were in
constant contact. We discussed this text several times
a week, as Dr. Bigner had already decided that I was
to take on a role in coparenting his life’s work. Everything he planned for the ninth edition—his ideas about
parenting and the directions for future editions—he
co-anchored in my mind.
Dr. Bigner leaves behind a legacy—in his publications, in the influence he has had on the countless students and colleagues who have internalized
aspects of his teachings, and on all the significant
persons in his life, his closest and dearest. We salute him for having been a role model to family life
educators, a man who was extremely generous with
his professional knowledge and expertise, and a man
who touched the lives of thousands of students over
several decades.
v
vi
■
About the Authors
Dr. Clara Gerhardt
Professor of Family Studies, Samford University
Clara Gerhardt, MBA, Ph.D., is a professor of Family
Studies at Samford University. She is a clinical psychologist and a licensed marriage and family therapist,
as well as a certified family life educator. Among her
many publications, she documented the history of family therapy in a chapter of Global Perspectives in Family
Therapy. She writes a regular guest column for a publication of the National Council on Family Relations.
She has held positions as chair of the Department of
Family Studies at Samford University and chair of a
State Board of Examiners in Psychology. As an educator, she teaches parenting, life span development, and
multicultural perspectives. As part of her duties as an
internship supervisor, she has mentored child life and
child development education students. Dr. Gerhardt
has professionally presented on six continents, visited
more than 60 countries, and speaks five languages fluently. Her practical training is constantly updated by
being a parent and a grandparent.
Preface
FEATURES OF THE TEXT
The ninth edition of Parent–Child Relations has been
revised and updated to retain the significant pedagogical
features of previous editions:
• A sharp focus on parenting. Students using this text
typically study child development in a separate course.
• A strong emphasis on various theoretical models pertaining to parenting
• An emphasis on family systems theory and a systemic
family development model to describe intergenerational family scenarios and life span challenges
• A focus on the ecological, social, and cultural contexts
in which parent–child relations occur
• Anchoring of some parenting strategies by focusing
on nurture and structure
• Expanded discussions of ethnic diversity and family
structures in the United States
• Frequently Asked Questions allow students to see parenting concerns through the eyes of a parent or a therapist
• Parenting Reflections raise significant questions to
promote critical thinking
• Focus On highlights important information
SUPPLEMENTS TO THE TEXT
Instructors will be pleased that their favorite topics may
be included during lectures to supplement the text. The
following online supplements are available to instructors
and can be downloaded at www.pearsonhighered.com:
• Online Instructor’s Manual. This manual provides
a variety of resources that support the text, including
notes from the author regarding each chapter, suggestions for supplementary lecture topics, and a listing of
audiovisual materials that illustrate chapter concepts.
• Online Test Bank. The Test Bank features evaluation
items, such as true–false and multiple choice.
• Online PowerPoint® Slides. PowerPoint presentations accompany each chapter of the text. These
slides can be customized by adding comments.
• Computerized Test Bank Software. Known as
TestGen, this computerized test bank software gives
instructors electronic access to the Test Bank items,
allowing them to create customized exams. TestGen
is available in a dual Macintosh and PC/Windows
version.
• Course Management. The assessment items in the
Test Bank are also available in WebCT and Blackboard formats.
NEW TO THIS EDITION
• For the ninth edition, this text has undergone numerous changes and updates. Dr. Clara Gerhardt has
joined the team as the coauthor.
• Many chapters were rewritten to reflect recent research and subtle changes in societal attitudes. “Culture and Diversity,” “Parenting Strategies,” “Transition to Parenthood,” “Pregnancy and Birth,” and
“Family Formation and Parenting in Same-Sex Couples” have been revised in their entirety.
• The “Theoretical Perspectives” chapter was expanded
and rewritten to clarify areas that students often find
challenging. New visual renderings of the theoretical
models were incorporated to facilitate understanding.
vii
viii
■
Preface
• The final chapter, “Best Practices in Parent–Child Relations,” is a new addition to the book, and looks at the
larger societal systems that cushion families. We ask the
ambitious question, “What is the state of parent–child
relations?” and analyze some demographics to provide
us with indications of our strengths and aspirations.
• We listened to the suggestions of our reviewers, who
pointed us in new directions. We asked a number of
subject experts to review rewritten sections of the
book and to identify leading researchers on particular
topics and to highlight current trends.
• Relevant themes were added and expanded, such as
parenting in military families, coparenting, sudden
infant death syndrome, parental despair, shaken baby
syndrome, postpartum depression, miscarriage and
infant loss, the history of childhood, prenatal tests,
bullying, fragile families, children’s brain development and parenting, the role of family therapy in
supporting parent–child relations, and commercial
parenting programs, to mention a few.
• Current terminology is used. This is especially clear
in the chapters on blended families, pregnancy and
birth, and family formation with same-sex parents.
Proposed, updated DSM-5 terms are used. We have
used gender-neutral language and randomly alternated the use of masculine and feminine pronouns
such as he and she.
• The family snapshots were abbreviated and a select
few were introduced with a family genogram to expose our students to this form of family notation.
• The illustrations that support theoretical models were
newly rendered for clarity and reader engagement.
• The references have been checked and compared
to the original sources. A serious effort was made to
replace dated references with current research. This
is an ongoing task which ensures that students benefit
from up-to-date material.
• We have kept in mind that this is a text intended
to facilitate teaching and learning. We added numerous pedagogical features and focused on reader
friendliness. We updated the photos and figures,
added clarity to the layout and visual engagement
through bullet points, recommended reputable
websites, and added charts and tables to sum up
key concepts.
• The supplementary materials for this text have also
undergone major restructuring to lighten the instructor’s load.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This ninth edition was built on the inspiring and solid
foundations created by the late Dr. Jerry Bigner. My
deepest gratitude extends to him, as well as to his partner,
Duane Farnell, who smoothed the way to carry out Jerry’s
wishes for this book. My appreciation to Dr. Bigner’s
many collaborators, including Dr. Raymond Yang.
It takes many musicians to perform a symphony.
For any creative endeavor, there is a wide net of
people who inspire, support, and simply create
the space so that the project can be completed. I
had an entire team, not all mentioned by name,
guiding and encouraging me, and importantly, believing in my ability to capture what Dr. Bigner
had envisioned. For her consistent affirmation,
her artistic eye, and virtually all the diagrammatic
renderings in this book, I embrace Claire Gerhardt Gottschalk. My heartfelt appreciation and
love I owe to Dr. Christina Gerhardt, pediatrician.
She is the backup vocalist who provided the harmony for this duet. For generously sharing her photographs and her vision, my gratitude extends to
award-winning photographer Carolyn Sherer.
Samford University has been the academic home
which nurtured and supported me. I am deeply indebted to my colleagues and students, especially
research assistants Melissa Belflower and Katrina
Brown. Dr. David Finn transformed “I can’t” to “I
can” with cups of tea. Others created the environment in which creativity flourishes: Drs. Mary Sue
Baldwin, Jeanie Box, Kristie Chandler, and David
Shipley.
The thoughtful insights and comments of the reviewers are greatly appreciated: Jennifer Andres, St.
Cloud State University; Ming Cui, Florida State University; Deborah J. Handy, Washington State University;
and Kim Kiehl, The Ohio State University.
Many generously shared their expertise and enthusiasm, specifically Drs. Tatum McArthur, Willem
Grotepass, Gisela Kreglinger, Eva Buttner, Thomas
Boll, Dan Sandiver-Stech, Arlene Hayne, Bryan Johnson, Ginger Frost, Jo King, Fred van Staden, Harold
Goss, Irva Hayward, Danielle Hardaman, and computer
genius Paul Gerhardt. Special acknowledgment is owed
to the numerous unsung experts who read sections of
the manuscript and pointed me in the right direction;
you know who you are and I thank you from the bottom
Preface
of my heart. The editors at Pearson were my compass
and anchor: Senior Acquisitions Editor Julie Peters and
Editorial Assistant Andrea Hall. Kerry Rubadue, Laura
Messerly, Brian Baker, Pat Onufrak, Mansi Negi, as well
as the entire Pearson team responsible for editing and
production, ultimately guided this book to a safe harbor.
■
ix
Lastly, to my inner circle—my husband Michael
and our children, their spouses and our grandchildren.
They are the ones who turned me into a parent and a
grandparent, the most important and rewarding learning school of all.
Brief Contents
PART I
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context 1
CHAPTER 1
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations 3
CHAPTER 2
Cultural Perspectives 22
CHAPTER 3
Theoretical Perspectives on Parent–Child Relations 48
CHAPTER 4
Parenting Styles and Strategies 79
PART II
The Work of Parenting 107
CHAPTER 5
The Transition to Parenthood 109
CHAPTER 6
Pregnancy and Childbirth 127
CHAPTER 7
Parenting Infants and Toddlers 146
CHAPTER 8
Parenting Preschoolers 170
CHAPTER 9
Parenting School-Age Children 196
CHAPTER 10
Parenting Adolescents and Young Adults 222
PART III
Challenges for Contemporary Parents and Children 247
CHAPTER 11
Parenting in Single-Parent Family Systems 249
CHAPTER 12
Parenting in Blended Family Systems 267
CHAPTER 13
Adolescent Parents
CHAPTER 14
Family Formation and Parenting in Same-Sex Couples 299
CHAPTER 15
Parent–Child Relations in High-Risk Families 319
CHAPTER 16
Best Practices in Parent–Child Relations 335
x
282
Contents
PART I
CHAPTER 2
Parent–Child Relations in
Social Context
1
The Role of Culture in Parent–Child Relations
23
23
Socialization
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
The Need for Parenting Education
3
Colonial America: 1600–1800
Nineteenth Century
6
10
10
The Middle Ages to the Renaissance
11
12
Twentieth-Century and Current Trends
Cultural Influences
14
Synchrony of Parental Style and Child Development
Family-of-Origin Influences
17
Influence of Children on Parents
Disciplinary Approach
Family Ecological Factors
Attitudes and Parenting Styles
21
21
Single-Parent and Binuclear Families
Military Families
33
Blended Families
34
31
17
Caucasian Parents and Children
38
Hispanic Parents and Children
39
African American Parents and Children
Asian American Parents and Children
18
19
31
35
Ethnic Diversity and Contemporary Families
16
17
Two-Parent Families
Kinship Families: Custodial Grandparents and
Grandchildren
35
16
Primary Parenting Functions
26
Families with Renested Adult Children
13
The Parenthood Role
26
Diversity in Contemporary Family Forms and
Structures
30
5
Ancient Greece and Rome
26
The Features of Contemporary Families
Characteristics
3
Concepts of Parenthood
5
The Ecology and Characteristics of Parenthood
Historical Changes in Parent–Child Relations
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
22
Culture
CHAPTER 1
Coparenting
Cultural Perspectives
37
41
42
American Indian and Alaska Native Parents and
Children
43
Multiracial and Interethnic Parents and
Children
44
19
19
Immigrant Parents and Children
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
45
46
47
xi
xii
■
Contents
CHAPTER 3
Parenting Strategies
88
Theoretical Perspectives on Parent–Child
Relations
48
Behavioral Parenting Programs
The Family as a System
Relationship-Based Parenting Programs
48
Parents as Socialization Agents
Patterns
Parenting Styles and Models
Authoritarian Styles
Permissive Styles
56
Authoritative Styles
56
Reciprocal Interaction and Feedback
Boundaries
Entropy
Ineffective Disciplinary Methods
53
56
Interdependence
Other Classifications
58
Parenting Models
58
60
Adaptation
60
Homeostasis
60
Application to Parent–Child Relations
99
100
100
101
102
102
104
61
The Work of Parenting
A Common Developmental Process in Families
62
Complex and Multigenerational Family Systems
63
63
Psychosocial Development Theory and Parenting
64
66
Parenting and Other Related Theories
Learning Theory
67
Cognitive Theory
68
67
Do I Want to Be a Parent?
Economic Factors
110
Structural Factors
111
Psychosocial Factors
109
109
112
Alternative Avenues to Parenthood
70
Assisted Reproductive Technology
70
Application to Parent–Child Relations
Adoption
71
J. S. Bruner’s Cognitive Learning Theory
Foster Care
71
77
78
115
117
117
119
122
Facilitating the Transition to Parenthood
Points to Consider
125
Useful Websites
126
Parenthood as a Developmental Role: Developmental
Interaction
75
123
CHAPTER 6
Pregnancy and Childbirth
CHAPTER 4
Parenting Styles and Strategies
The Necessity of Parent Education
Parents as Teachers
80
Dealing with Discipline
81
The Transition to Parenthood
Parenthood and Committed Relationships
Application to Parent–Child Relations
Vygotsky’s Sociocultural Theory
107
CHAPTER 5
Intergenerational Families in Developmental Time
Application to Parent–Child Relations
105
PART II
60
Systemic Family Development Theory
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
94
Normal Behavioral Problems of Children
Points to Consider
105
Useful Websites
106
59
Equifinality
93
Relationship-Based Principles to Increase Parental
Effectiveness
96
49
Attachment Theory and Parenting
50
Ecological Systems Theory and Parenting
Family Systems Theory
55
Wholeness
Social Learning Theory
89
79
79
Considerations during Pregnancy
127
128
Characteristics of Prenatal Development
128
Critical Factors Before and During Pregnancy
The Responsibility of Parenthood: Preparation for
Conception
129
129
■
Contents
The Ages of the Parents
130
Nutrition During Pregnancy
Exercise
Bedtime and Sleeping Problems
130
Problems with Elimination
132
Eating Problems
Preparation for Birth
133
Infectious Diseases
133
134
Current Trends in Prenatal Care
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Adjusting to Pregnancy
135
138
Expectant Parents’ Reactions to Pregnancy
190
Preschool Programs
193
189
194
194
195
138
CHAPTER 9
141
The Effects of the Birthing Experience on Adults
142
Parenting School-Age Children
196
The Developmental Landmarks of Middle
Childhood
197
Parenting School-Age Children
198
Cultural Snapshots
144
Points to Consider
144
Useful Websites
145
How Does Parenting Change?
198
Meeting the Needs of School-Age Children
CHAPTER 7
Parenting Infants and Toddlers
146
Developmental Landmarks of Infancy
Parenting Infants and Toddlers
147
147
Meeting the Needs of Infants and Toddlers
Safety Precautions for Infants
160
Safety Concerns for Toddlers
160
Gender-Equal Parenting Roles
210
Children with Disabilities
211
Parenting Children with Special Needs
163
Family Reactions
165
170
Developmental Landmarks of Early Childhood
Parenting Young Children
171
171
172
175
215
217
218
220
220
CHAPTER 10
Parenting Adolescents and Young
Adults
171
213
216
The Effects on the Children
CHAPTER 8
Positive Guidance Methods with Young
Children
185
Dealing with the Behavior Problems of Young
Children
187
Maternal Employment and Child Rearing
Family Snapshot
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
212
212
Support for Families with Exceptional Children
Effects on Adults
Parenting Preschoolers
Cognitive, Behavioral, and Emotional Aspects
212
The Characteristics of Children with Special Needs
164
Supports for Parents of Infants and Toddlers
Family Snapshot
167
Points to Consider
167
Useful Websites
169
Meeting the Needs of Preschoolers
210
Antisocial Behaviors
147
199
Typical Behavioral Problems during Middle
Childhood
209
Noncompliance
Evolving Personal Concepts of Parenthood
Physical Aspects
189
Child-Care Centers
Family Snapshot
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
135
The Birthing Experience
188
188
Supports for Parents of Preschoolers
Prenatal Medical Supervision
xiii
The Developmental Landmarks of Adolescence
Parenting Adolescents
224
Revised Parenting Styles
225
Meeting the Needs of Adolescents
Family Snapshot
234
226
222
224
xiv
■
Contents
Parenting Young Adults
Emerging Adulthood
235
Stepfathers
Prolonged Dependencies Between Parents and Young
Adults
236
Attachment Revisited
238
Functioning as a Renested Family System
Family Snapshot
240
Grandparenting
241
The Role of Grandparents
Step-Grandparenting
276
Stepchildren and Stepsiblings
276
Ex-Spouses and Ex-In-Laws
277
Challenges and Adjustments in Blended
Families
278
Family Snapshot
279
Points to Consider
280
Useful Websites
281
239
242
243
Caring for Aging Parents
Points to Consider
245
Useful Websites
246
275
Step-Grandparents
236
CHAPTER 13
244
Adolescent Parents
282
Incidence, Causes, and Outcomes of Teenage
Pregnancy
284
Primary Factors
284
PART III
Adolescent Parents
289
Challenges for Contemporary Parents
and Children
247
Adolescent Fathers
292
The Consequences for a Child of an Adolescent
Parent
294
Supports for Adolescent Parents
295
CHAPTER 11
Parenting in Single-Parent Family
Systems
Educational Programming
249
Divorce, Single-Parent Families, and Parent–Child
Relations
250
Parental Adaptations
252
Custody Arrangements
255
Single-Parent Families Headed by Mothers
258
Single-Parent Families Headed by Fathers
260
CHAPTER 14
Family Formation and Parenting in
Same-Sex Couples
The Challenges of Nonresidential, Noncustodial
Fathers
263
The Strengths of Single-Parent Families
Family Snapshot
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
Legal Matters
263
264
264
266
Biological Perspectives
The Characteristics of Blended Family Systems
Blended Family Formation
271
Coparenting and Blended Family Roles
273
268
274
304
Incidence
305
Family Systems with LGBT Children
267
301
302
Psychological Perspectives
CHAPTER 12
Disclosure as a Family Crisis
305
306
Family Formation in Same-Sex Couples
Parent–Child Relations in Same-Sex Couples
Gender-Equal Behavior
Family Snapshot
299
300
The Determinants of Sexual Orientation
Parenting in Blended Family Systems
Stepmothers
Promoting Parenting Skills and Preventing Future
Pregnancies
296
An Adolescent Father’s Perspective on
Parenting
297
Points to Consider
298
Useful Websites
298
251
Children’s Adaptations
295
316
312
308
309
Contents
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
Best Practices in Parent–Child
Relations
CHAPTER 15
Parent–Child Relations in High-Risk
Families
Abusive Parents and Their Children
The Risk and Resilience Model
319
320
Definitions and the Prevalence of Family Violence
321
322
Factors Associated with Family Violence
Characteristics of Abusive Parents
326
329
330
Children Affected by Parents with Substance Use and
Addictive Disorders
332
333
334
335
Enhancing Individual Resilience
337
Gender Equality in Educational Outcomes
Generational Differences
The Power of Family Support
Final Thoughts
Useful Websites
347
348
REFERENCES
349
369
340
340
341
341
344
The Power of Social and Civic Connectedness
INDEX
335
337
Changing Family Demographics
Families Affected by Substance Use and Addictive
Disorders
330
Understanding the Effects of Substance Use and
Addictive Disorders
330
The Affected Adult Family Member
Protective Factors
Enhancing Family Resilience
324
Treatment and Intervention for Abusive Parents
Points to Consider
Useful Websites
xv
CHAPTER 16
317
318
Models of Family Violence
■
345
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PART I
Parent–Child Relations
in Social Context
I
n some ways, we are all parenting experts. We have personally felt the effects of
parental and coparental influences. We carry these experiences with us for life; we
know about that most sacred of bonds, the one that remains with us forever. After
all, we have all been parented or coparented within the diverse context of contemporary
family life.
In an ideal scenario, we have been at the receiving end of our parents’ and coparents’
good intentions. We were the object of their hopes and dreams; we may have witnessed
their challenges and sacrifices. In reality, we may have been cared for, but not all of these
relationships may have amounted to loving or constructive interactions.
Not all parents can or want to parent.
Not all children take the extended opportunities.
Not all parent–child relationships have successful outcomes.
There are many shades of gray in the quality of a (co)parent–child relationship. We
take it for granted that children are lovingly parented, but the reality is more complicated. Parenting can challenge us like nothing else. It can bring immense joy; disappointment and bitter tears are the flipside of that coin.
For as much as parents parent, the children do something in return; parents and
their progeny do things to each other. It occurs against the backdrop of family histories.
Parenting goes forward and backward in time; it crosses generations. We parent in the
context of social, educational, and biological influences—factors that limit or enhance
our effectiveness. Having some tried and true techniques and well researched literature
at hand raises our intuitive knowledge to a more scholarly level. Assuming that parenting
skills are innate may preclude the benefits of learning from a model of best practices.
In a parenting course, we try to describe the many visible and invisible threads that
set the loom—the influences we may be aware of, as well as the somewhat imperceptible ones. By recognizing and understanding some of the patterns, learning techniques,
and approaching parenting as a skill set that can be expanded, parent–child relations
can become more rewarding for all participants. We can train professionals who will
help parents find the most constructive and rewarding path through a forest of challenges. Biological parenthood is not a prerequisite; there are many paths toward a caring
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Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
relationship of the caretaker–care taken configuration. We can use these skills in any
responsible coparenting relationship involving children and adolescents, and in a variety
of professions.
Parenting courses are anchored in countless volumes of research. In approaching
parenting as a formal topic for study, we sum up the highlights and make the material
accessible to those interested in this topic. We try to keep the joyful aspect of parent–
child relations in mind. If these relationships seem like an occasional endurance test,
learning from what has worked for others may increase our fitness level to run the parenting
race gracefully and with good outcomes.
Parenting and the caring dimensions it represents has the potential for being one of
life’s greatest joys and ongoing gifts. As students of parent–child relations, we are particularly privileged to be close to the stage, where we can observe, encourage, and cheer
on the actors partaking in one of life’s true dramas, and where we can become part of
the audience eavesdropping on the many dialogues that occur within the sacred space
of the family.
CHAPTER 1
The Ecology of Parent–
Child Relations
Learning Outcomes
■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■
After completing this chapter, readers should be able to
1. Explain the current views that support formal parenting education.
2. Explain the implications of the different perspectives concerning parent–child
relations.
3. Explain the social factors that contributed to the changing trends in parenthood
over the past century.
4. Describe the factors that contribute to the parenthood role, and reflect on the
relevance of each of these factors during the life span development of the parent.
■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■
THE NEED FOR PARENTING EDUCATION
When we reflect on our own childhood experiences several questions come to mind: Why
did our parents behave and react the way they did? What would we do differently if we
were in their shoes? Are there lessons to be learned that will make us better parents? Are
there best practices that we can follow to ensure optimal outcomes?
One of the most significant and intimate relationships among humans is that
between parent and child. The parent–child bond is unique in its biological foundations and in its psychological meanings. For children, this essential relationship ensures
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survival and helps shape their destinies. For adults, it
can be one of the most fulfilling human experiences
and a challenging opportunity for personal growth and
development.
For many years, the need for formal parenting education was undervalued, and typically the option of
training for this role was not available. Parent educators
and professionals who work closely with parents agree
that such skills would be a welcome addition. Our society goes to great lengths to train people for most vocational roles. A license indicating training and competence is required for a range of activities and
vocations—from driving a car to the most sophisticated
of professions. Other than for special circumstances
such as foster parenting, no state or federal statute
requires individuals to have training or preparation to
become parents, or to practice parenting, even though
the stakes are high and the effects are long lasting. The
question concerning the feasibility of licensing parents
has been asked (LaFollette, 2004). Our legal system has
intervened in regulating potentially harmful activities,
and promoting situations and behaviors that are “in the
best interests of the child.” It has played a role in adoption and parental rights issues. Even though parenting
licensure would represent an attempt at raising the bar
and exerting a gate-keeping role, many would see licensure as an intrusion on family privacy. Questioning a
family’s innate willingness to rise to the challenge of giving parenting their very best shot seems to be an intrusion into the private sphere of family life. Unless the
overall emotional and physical well-being of a child is
jeopardized or there is suspicion or fear that a child may
be at risk, we tend to leave parenting to the parents, with
varying outcomes (Tittle, 2004).
The media sometimes depicts parenthood in unrealistic ways by portraying idealistic outcomes of parent–
child relations: the happily-ever-after story. It is tempting to believe that most parents and children have
smooth interactions; children improve their parents’
marriage; children will turn out well if they have good
parents; children generally are compliant with parents’
requests; and parents are solely responsible for their
children’s character, personality, and achievements
upon attaining maturity. Learning about parenting in
formal coursework, observing parents and children
interact in natural settings, and hearing parents share
their experiences may contribute to a more authentic
understanding of parenthood.
Although most parents could profit from learning
new ways to be effective in their role, there are so many
opposing guidelines concerning parenting that it is hard
to separate the wheat from the chaff. Researchers continue to make progress toward helping parents find
more effective ways of performing their parenting roles
and raising children to become competent adults.
Contemporary ideas about the nature of parent–
child relations are the result of years of social evolution
and many historical changes. Our concept of the relationship between a parent and a child contains numerous complex meanings. These perceptions influence an
adult’s decision to become a parent and also shape the
subsequent parenting behavior. Our understanding of
this significant family relationship has benefited from
increased knowledge of the behavioral sciences. Experts
continue to study parent–child interactions in the hopes
of gaining a clearer understanding of how this relationship changes over time and is altered in certain social
contexts. Researchers look at the dynamics of parent–
child relations and try to distill the essence of competent
parenting behaviors.
Disconcerting events occurring in families and in
contemporary society underline the urgency of preparing parents and coparents to ensure that they are competent in their roles. It is becoming clearer that the
qualities inherent in parenting relationships can benefit
or harm a child’s development. The prevalence of
destructive behaviors in adulthood is traced to familyof-origin experiences in which poor and ineffective
parenting may have played a major role (Coontz, 2006).
Family experts are concerned about the effects of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse of children by their
parents and close family. Poor preparation for parenthood, inadequate social support, lack of adequate skills
for coping with the stresses of parenting, and resourcedepleted environments all interact to put families at risk
(Cheal, 2007).
The relationship between parents and children is
complex and varied. Parenthood is described as a developmental role that changes over time, usually in
response to the changing developmental needs of children. Clearly, people can learn how to be effective in
raising children and may be able to improve their behavior as parents. By studying the research, theories, and
approaches that have been developed and examined by
practitioners, it is possible to develop a better understanding of the many facets of parenting.
Chapter 1
Parenting Reflection 1– 1
At the outset and before having studied parent–child relations, what topics would you include in a
course for first-time parents?
Coparenting
Coparents can come in various guises and in several contexts. It refers to the people who team up or collaborate to
parent. Think about the word cooperate. It contains the
prefix co, meaning that it is an activity that we do together
or jointly, where we share our resources: in short, where
we collaborate. It is much more than an extended form
of child care. It is a very legitimate form of parenting and
can occur in many settings. It can have legal implications
concerning parental rights and responsibilities.
At the heart of coparenting lies the ongoing commitment to a child’s well-being in a parental manner.
Coparents can be biological parents in binuclear families who take on parenting roles from two different
households because of divorce or separation. Coparents
can be adults who significantly support parents in the
parenting role, or may take over the parenting role for
an absent or incapacitated parent. In this way, grandparents, supportive family members, friends, and foster
parents could act as coparents if they take on permanent
and semi-permanent roles with a serious commitment to
a child’s upbringing. They carry the child’s interests at
heart and become a significant force in the child’s life in
a relationship that is ongoing and enduring.
The adults could have a biological link to the child,
but they need not have this connection. For instance,
parents and stepparents in a post-divorce situation may
coparent. Same-sex couples may coparent. Unmarried
parents may coparent from two different households.
Foster parents could coparent occasionally with a biological parent. In summary, “[co]parenting is an enterprise undertaken by two or more adults who together take
on the care and upbringing of children for whom they
share responsibility” (McHale & Lindahl, 2011, p. 3).
Focus Point. It is important for parents to learn how to
raise children, to understand their developmental needs,
and to become more effective in their roles as parents.
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
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CONCEPTS OF PARENTHOOD
In our society, the parenting role is associated with several different concepts. Originally, the idea of parenthood
referred singularly to the prominent aspect of sexual reproduction. Our society, like all others, values the function of reproduction within a family setting because, traditionally, this was the only way to sustain the population.
Although advances in medical technology allow for
assisted reproduction, the traditional manner of family
formation is the most frequently occurring variation.
Initial family formation is followed by years of careful
supervision of the offspring.
Other ideas are also embedded in our society’s concept of parenthood—namely, that parents are responsible for nurturing, teaching, and acting as guardians for
their children until they reach the age of legal maturity.
This extended timespan of providing care for children is
unique among most species found on Earth. Human
infants and children have a prolonged period of dependency on adults, partly because of the length of time it
takes for maturation of the brain and the complexity of
the skills that have to be attained (Stiles, 2008). The
brain of a human infant, unlike that of the offspring of
many other mammals, is immature at birth and continues to develop. Human infants’ survival is dependent
upon being protected by adults. In contrast, the offspring of many other species walk within hours of birth
and are capable of running to escape danger. Human
infants do not master these same motor functions until
many months and years after birth. Differences in brain
size and function account for many of the disparities
between humans and other species.
Parents were originally considered to be a child’s
principal teachers. This instructional function and the
responsibility given to parents by society to prepare
children for adulthood is referred to as socialization, or
learning how to conform to the conventional ways of
behavior in society. In the past, parents served as educators for their children by teaching them the essential
skills needed to survive in society, including reading,
writing, and calculation if they were growing up within
a literate society. They helped children learn the job
skills necessary to provide a living upon attaining adulthood. Today these requirements are met by schools and
other agents. Parents are expected to help children learn
the basic rules of social functioning and to impart values
to guide the behavior and decisions of their offspring.
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have placed an ecological perspective on human development and social behavior. Using this approach, the
developmental changes in individuals, families, and
other social groups take place within the context of
interactions with changing environmental systems
(Bronfenbrenner, 1979). This same perspective is used
in the context of parent–child relations. To understand
the parent–child relationship from an ecological angle,
we must examine the context of the various environments that influence and shape behavior. We explore
the basic nature of parent–child relations and identify
the particular aspects that influence the roles and
behaviors that parents assume.
Parenting Reflection 1– 2
Try to imagine yourself as the best parent possible. What characteristics would you have? What are
some things that you would try to do, and what would
you try to avoid?
Understanding the family relationship enhances
parenting skills. Parenthood is a developmental role
which changes in response to the needs of the children.
Focus Point. A number of concepts are embedded in
the role of a parent. These concepts define the different
meanings associated with the role.
THE ECOLOGY AND
CHARACTERISTICS OF
PARENTHOOD
The relationship between parents and children can be
described according to several dimensions. This relationship is one of the cornerstones of human existence,
largely because of its biological basis. It is an essential
part of our society, and society requires the addition of
new members in order to continue.
To understand the context and complexity of the
unique bond between parents and their children, we
examine this bond from an ecological perspective.
Ecology is an interdisciplinary branch of biology that
examines the interrelationships between organisms and
their environment (Barry, 2007). Behavioral scientists
Following are some characteristic traits and qualities of the parent–child relationship:
1. Parenthood is a social construct. The parental role is a social institution based on complex values,
beliefs, norms, and behaviors that focus on procreation
and the need to care for the young (Bengston, Acock,
Allen, Dilworth-Anderson, & Klein, 2005; Coontz,
2006). People who are not parents can also experience
the parenting role—for instance, through coparenting.
Coparents are significant persons within a system who
collaborate and contribute to the parenting of a child
(McHale & Lindahl, 2011).
The role of the parent is universally understood by
diverse groups. Every society, culture, and subculture
defines appropriate behavior for parents. Some cultural
groups allocate a higher moral stature to parents than to
nonparents. People who are not parents may be devalued by societies in which parenthood is valued.
2. The relationship between parents and children
is a subsystem of the larger social system that we call
a family. One of the most salient models for understanding family group functioning is the family systems theory. This approach falls within an ecological
context (Becvar & Becvar, 1998). Family systems theory
Chapter 1
describes family functioning in ways that resemble other
systems found in nature, such as the solar system and
ecological systems. This model explains how everyday
functioning takes place in a family, how rules evolve to
govern the behavior of members, how roles are assigned
to regulate behavior, and how these roles relate to family
goals. It explains how a family group strives to maintain
stability over time and adapts rules, behaviors, roles,
and goals. This model recognizes that family members
experience developmental changes, resolve interpersonal conflicts, and confront crises in ways that enhance
effective functioning.
Several other subsystems exist simultaneously within
a larger family system, such as the committed relationship or marriage between adults and the relationships
among siblings. A subsystem is a microcosm of the
larger family system that mirrors the functioning of this
group. The same principles and concepts that explain the
functioning of the larger family system relate to how subsystems, including the parent–child subsystem, function.
The main priority of the parent–child relationship
is to nurture children toward maturity and effective
adult functioning. The family systems model describes
the parent–child relationship as bidirectional. The flow
of influence goes both ways. Children’s behavior and
development are strong factors that contribute to the
quality and scope of interactions with parents. As children
experience developmental changes, parents change their
behavior and adapt by changing the rules, the ways they
interact with children, and their goals for child rearing.
Interactions between parents and children evolve in
tandem with children’s developmental changes. Similarly, children respond to changes in parenting behavior
in ways that help them achieve the developmental tasks
appropriate for their particular life span stage.
The parental role is sensitive and responsive to
changes within the family system. For example, when
one adult is removed from the family through divorce or
death, the remaining adult’s quality and style of parenting change. The parenthood role is also heavily influenced by factors arising from what is known as family
ecology, which is the influence of the larger environment on the family system.
3. Parenting is bidirectional. Our ideas and philosophies about parent–child relations are derived from
diverse cultural and historical influences. Until several
decades ago, the relationship between parent and child
was described as a unidirectional model of socialization
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
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Parenting focuses on nurturing children’s growth
and development to facilitate learning to become an
effectively functioning adult.
(Ambert, 2001). In this model, the adult assumes the role
of a teacher who is responsible for encouraging appropriate behavior patterns, values, and attitudes that prepare
the child for effective participation in society upon reaching maturity. The child’s role is that of being an active
learner. According to the model, the flow of information
is solely from parent to child. Clearly, the unidirectional
model features the adult as having significant power over
the child. In contrast, the subordinated child lacks social
power. In the past, these were the accepted roles for parents and children, and they received strong support.
Our current ideas about parent–child relations
are shaped by the insight from research that reframes
this bond as being bidirectional (Ambert, 2001; Cui,
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TABLE 1–1.
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
Childhood and the Family in Victorian England
Influences of Victorianism occurring from 1815–1914
Industrial Revolution: Mid
18th to mid 19th century
Childhood differed depending on the class, the generation, and the gender of the child
(Frost, 2009). Breakup of the extended family. Increased urbanization as fathers, who
were the breadwinners, took on factory jobs; 80 percent of the people lived in cities,
often in poverty. Separation of family life from work led to the formation of the nuclear
family. Less support from the extended family. Class differences were based on
education, financial prospects, and family background. Children were exploited, often
laboring in factories.
Early Victorian:
1830s–1840s
Queen Victoria’s reign from 1837–1901. Upheaval in the economic, political, and
social arenas. Depression in industry and in agriculture. Potato blight in Ireland,
resulting in mass immigration to the United States. Victorians idealized the family and
the middle class. Reality was different with poverty and persons in the lower classes
struggling. This had a direct effect on family life and children. In 1841, about 36
percent of the population was under age 15. At worst, children were exploited, died
early of infectious diseases, missed out on education, and were sometimes sexually
and socially abused. At best, children were idealized for their innocence and seen
as central to the family. Childhood was a very short period, and children could start
working as early as age 7.
Middle Victorian:
1850–1875
Relative prosperity. Large families and low life expectancy. Children could be
orphaned or have to deal with stepparents. Children born out of wedlock were
stigmatized and were either absorbed by maternal families or left as foundling
children to be raised in orphanages. Class differences set the stage for the different
experiences of childhood. Highly religious society.
Late Victorian: 1875–1914
Rise of new technology like the telephone, chemicals, and electricity. This period
culminated in World War I. Large families and high infant mortality. Also frequent loss of
a parent as life expectancy was short. Children were often socialized by their siblings.
Family size declined in middle-class families. Children’s rights became a topic for
discussion. Some social reform. Alternatives other than prisons and workhouses for
troubled children. The length of childhood increased as children were schooled longer.
Scotland made schooling compulsory in 1872; England had a national school system by
1870 and compulsory schooling followed by 1880. Children entered the workforce later.
General Themes: Attitudes
toward children
Gradual increase in awareness of the importance of parenting. Gradual change
in children’s roles with the understanding and insight that childhood had its own
characteristics and demands. Childhood and youth were not the first stage of
adulthood, but a separate entity. Slow but steady social and legal reform occurred,
fueled by political changes, and these reforms spread throughout the social classes.
Child rearing entered the realm of public policy.
Discipline
Typically harsh discipline, treating children as if they were innately bad and needed
correction. Corporal punishment. From about age 12, children were treated as
adults. No extended transition into adulthood. No juvenile legal system; children were
punished in the same manner as adults, or placed in harsh reform schools. Social
reform initiated in the late 1800s.
Homeless children and
orphans
Children born out of wedlock were mostly absorbed by maternal households, although
some children were abandoned as a result of dire poverty. Increasing social reform
movements to help these children (e.g., orphanages, schools, foundling homes).
Many institutions were founded by religious groups (e.g., the Salvation Army).
Chapter 1
TABLE 1–1.
Childhood and the Family in Victorian England
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
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(Continued)
Abuse and neglect
Dire social conditions, including poverty, violence, and alcoholism, set the stage
for child abuse (including some sexual abuse) and neglect. Prudery in middle-class
families did not make them immune to the neglect and abuse of children.
Toys and play
The late Victorian period recognized the importance of play, and children had toys and
playtime. Games could be seen as being educational as well as recreational. These
insights represented the fragile beginnings of child centeredness. Books for children
were being printed.
School
Initially, there was no compulsory schooling; children often left school during late
childhood or early adolescence to learn a trade. Education was incomplete. Sunday
schools were established to teach literacy, as well as religious concepts, to working
children. England had a national school system by 1870, and compulsory schooling
followed by 1880.
Child labor
Child labor continued throughout this era, up to World War I. In the late Victorian
period, much of the child labor was part time, at least until school-leaving age, which
was 14. Interrupted education precluded the hopes for a good economic future, with
far-reaching effects on families.
Based on Frost, Ginger S. (2009). Victorian childhoods. In the series, Mitchell, Sally (Series Editor). Victorian life and times. Westport,
Connecticut: Praeger.
Donnellan, & Conger, 2007; Parke & Buriel, 2006).
This means that adults and children influence each
other. Their mutual influence changes constantly, too,
because of the developmental nature of the relationship over the course of a life span.
4. Parenthood is a developmental role that can
continue over the life span. Unlike most adult social
roles, parenting behavior and interactions must adapt to
the developmental changes in children. Changes arising
from a parent’s own personal development affect the
caregiving behavior. The age and developmental status
of both the parent and the child affect the nature and
context of the relationship at any point in time. Typically,
the parent–child relationship can be a life span pursuit
as it stretches over the entire life span of the parties
involved, and the quality and characteristics of this relationship change accordingly.
Focus Point. Parent–child relations were traditionally and historically described as unidirectional; that is,
the adult had complete jurisdiction, power, and control over the relationship. Current mainstream thinking
describes this relationship as bidirectional, meaning
that a child is acknowledged as an active participant and
contributor to the relationship. Each person influences
the behavior of the other. The parent–child relationship is unique to family systems and can be described
in various ways.
Focus Point. Parenting is characterized by four
important characteristics:
Parenthood is a social construct. The parental
role is a social institution based on complex values,
beliefs, norms, and behaviors.
■ The family systems theory describes parenthood as
a subsystem of the larger social system of the family
and within an ecological context.
■ Both parent and child actively participate in a bidirectional interaction with mutual influence.
■ Parenting is a developmental role and a life span
pursuit: both parent and child undergo developmental changes with time and life span progressions.
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Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
HISTORICAL CHANGES IN
PARENT–CHILD RELATIONS
Contemporary ideas about the nature of parent–child
relations are very different from those of the past. Current ideas have evolved from earlier beliefs. The nature
and quality of parent–child interactions are influenced
significantly by cultural values and by the historical context in which we live (Coontz, 2006).
Generally, our culture values the well-being of children and social institutions like the family, schools, and
social service agencies, which focus on meeting children’s
needs. Our society tends to be child centered. We see
childhood as a special time in the life span, a time of preparation and education for the later years. Childhood is hopefully a time for happiness and freedom from anxiety. We
believe that children have special needs that are first met
in their family system and later by institutions, groups, and
agencies outside of the family system. Our ideas about the
unique nature of childhood developed over many years of
social transformation in Western culture (Coontz, 2006).
Childhood, parenthood, and the family were viewed
differently during the Middle Ages, or even during the
Colonial period of the United States. Most social historians agree that the love between parents and children
has probably not changed over time. Changes are noted
in the ways that adults define and conduct appropriate
parenting behavior. Although parenting has always had
a strong nurturing context, the way that adults express
this nurturing has changed in culturally approved ways.
Child-rearing practices have evolved throughout history
to reflect the changing ideas of what children need from
adults to prepare them for their own future as adults.
Infant Mortality. Where there are adults, there must
have been children, and the history of humankind, as
shown in Figure 1–1, is also the history of childhood. Our
knowledge of children during prehistoric times, including
the times of hunter–gatherers, is limited to archeological
and paleontological data (Volk, 2011). We know that
child mortality rates were disconcertingly high, and from
archeological findings, the estimates are that around half of
the children never reached adulthood. Stating this bluntly:
In many ways, the history of childhood is perhaps
best described as a history of death. Infant and child
mortality rates appear to have been shockingly high
for all but the most recent part of the history of childhood. (Volk, 2011, p. 475)
In Victorian times, the loss of a sibling was a likely
occurrence, and it exerted an emotional toll on the
entire family. The loss of a parent proved to be disruptive
to the family structure and devastating to the children
who were sometimes sent to live with extended family,
which was not always a loving environment. The surviving parent very likely remarried, even if it was only to
keep the household intact.
Walter Littler, the 14th of 18 children, describes
his Victorian childhood in his memoir. Within a dozen
years, eight of his siblings had passed away from
infectious diseases such as measles and scarlet fever;
illnesses, which a century later, would be fairly well
controlled (Frost, 2009). In the Foakes family, the mother, Grace, had 14 children, of whom only five reached
adulthood, while nine died in infancy or childhood.
“[The loss of a child is] an almost unimaginable
loss to modern eyes. Parents faced such grief with
resignation, but when siblings died, children were both
frightened and saddened, a state sometimes aggravated by the Victorian custom of keeping the body in the
parlor or kitchen until burial. The death of a contemporary was a shock, one that forced children to face the
reality of mortality.” (Frost, 2009, p. 21)
FIGURE 1–1. Family life and infant mortality in
Victorian England.
Source: Frost, Ginger S. (2009). Victorian childhoods, chapter
1, page 21. In the series, Mitchell, Sally (Series Editor).
Victorian life and times. Westport, Connecticut: Praeger. The
following source is referenced by Frost (2009): Littler, Walter.
(1997). A Victorian childhood: Recollections and reflections.
Belbroughton, Worcestershire, England: Marion Seymour.
With the absence of a long-lasting oral or written history, the details elude us. The review of the evolution
of childhood begins with the ancient cultures that influenced contemporary Western societies, and where
we have greater access to more detailed historical data.
The threat of death forced parents to be both
invested and disinvested in their offspring. They invested
strongly in these bonds to increase the odds of survival as
children represented their lineage, the hope of a next
generation. At the same time, the many circumstances
accompanying high child mortality demanded a certain
resignation and disinvestment (Volk, 2011).
Ancient Greece and Rome
In ancient times, only two stages of the human life span
were recognized: childhood and adulthood (Cunningham,
Chapter 1
2005). Adulthood was considered to be the culmination of
childhood experiences. Childhood was the time for preparing to become an adult. Achieving this status was the
primary goal of an individual’s developmental progress.
The boundary between childhood and adulthood was distinct. Childhood commenced at birth and usually ended
between the surprisingly young ages of 5 and 7 years,
at which time individuals assumed adult status, along
with the associated responsibilities, behaviors, and traits
expected of an adult. The life span was much shorter, and
many people died in their mid 30s and 40s.
The ancient cultures of Greece and Rome recognized that the experiences of childhood gave rise to the
adult’s character. The artistic works of these eras suggest
that adulthood was considered to be of higher value and
the epitome of human development (Golden, 1993).
Infancy and late adulthood did not seem to receive the
same degree of interest, assuming artistic attention as a
valid indicator of social concern. Child sacrifices, infanticide, and slavery were common during these historical
eras. On the authority of the father, infants who were
deformed, weak, or of an undesired sex (usually female)
could be left to the elements, drowned, or suffocated.
There was concern for children’s preparation for
their future roles in adulthood. Although schools taught
a wide variety of subjects, parents were responsible for
teaching their children basic skills and knowledge. Education was considered to benefit the well-being of the
community and the state, rather than the welfare of the
individual. In these cultures, a formal education was a
privilege that was restricted to males. Females were
expected to acquire only domestic skills related to home
management and child care.
The family was recognized as the core element in
both of these early civilizations. The father was the family leader, and the mother was regarded as a child’s first
teacher. Women and children had very few rights and
were considered to be the property of an adult male.
Children could be sold into slavery or even abandoned.
By the 5th century, rewards were given to families who
gave asylum to orphaned or deserted children. Conditions changed during the Middle Ages.
The Middle Ages to the Renaissance
The Middle Ages (400–1400) were a time in which
Western societies functioned in a rural, primitive manner. Formal education was minimal and restricted to the
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
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clergy of the Roman Catholic Church. Families were
structured in extended families, with several generations living together. Family life centered primarily on
an agrarian lifestyle.
In these premodern times, children were treated
with indifference to their special needs. During the
Middle Ages and for some time afterward, the nature of
an infant was taken for granted by adults. There was no
concept that infants needed to learn to trust their
caregivers. Assimilation into the adult world came early,
usually between ages 5 and 7. A child’s education—
probably their only schooling—came from observing
and imitating adult role models. Parents in the Middle
Ages probably felt that children needed adult supervision and care, but this did not extend to close emotional
ties. Parents did not appear to provide warmth or nurture to children, possibly because many children died in
infancy and childhood from diseases that are preventable today. During this period, parenting was only one of
many functions of the family, and no high priority was
attached to it. Families were most concerned with the
production of food, clothing, and shelter to ensure daily
survival.
The prevailing attitude during the Middle Ages was
that children were miniature adults. They were dressed
in adult-type clothing and given responsibilities at an
early age. The lives of children and adults paralleled
closely. Children were exposed to adult behavior and
living conditions. For example, most children of commoners in Europe were apprenticed to learn a particular
skill or trade once they reached age 7.
During medieval times, infants were featured in
artwork. During the early part of this era, subjects were
depicted holding infants in a detached manner, with little direct eye contact between mother and child. Infant
mortality rates were particularly high. The advent of
medical care, and especially the availability of antibiotics, was centuries away. Because life was uncertain,
adults probably did not develop a close attachment to
infants and young children for fear of a disastrous, premature end to their relationship. This would change in
the years that followed.
Over the next two centuries that followed the
Middle Ages, that is, 1400–1600, Europe experienced a
period of cultural revitalization that was marked by voyages of discovery, scientific exploration, and an explosion
of artistic creativity. Adults explored their inner environments or personalities, attempting to discover their true
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Part I
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
selves. This social and cultural expansion generally did
not lead to an increased understanding of children and
parenting. The focus clearly was on the adult, as illustrated by the concept of the Renaissance man, that is,
someone who was well rounded in almost all areas of
development, including intellectual, artistic, social, and
physical.
It was common practice among Italian Renaissance
nobility to send their infants to live with wet nurses (i.e.,
peasant women who had infants of their own). The wet
nurse usually cared for the nobility’s infants for about 2
years, including nursing them. Apparently, the biological
parents were not particularly concerned about the quality of care given to their infant during this time (Harlow
& Laurence, 2010).
The artistic works produced during this period
show a greater interest in children. Fra Filippo Lippi
was among the first of the Renaissance artists to portray
infants with accurate body proportions. In the artwork
of this period, babies were usually drawn as cherubs,
which was considered to be the position in the angelic
hierarchy of Heaven assigned to infants and children
who died. A new sentimentality about children began to
emerge. This contributed to changes in attitudes about
the nature and status of children in society. During the
late 1500s, artists gave more attention to children in
their artwork. Another indication of greater concern
and attention was the creation of special clothing styles
just for children. Until this time, children had been
dressed in replicas of adult costumes. This change in
clothing style signaled that children, at least those of the
nobility, were seen as distinct and separate entities
(Cunningham, 2005).
By the late 1500s, additional distinctions between
the world of adults and that of children emerged. Recreational activities, stories, and types of medical care
between the two groups began to differ. Advice on how
to provide discipline and guidance in child rearing
became more widespread (Mintz, 2006). Over the next
200 years, the rate of social change would accelerate,
bringing new adjustments to the ways that people
viewed parenthood and childhood.
Colonial America: 1600–1800
The cultural and religious conditions that existed at the
time that America was colonized contributed to a unique
view of children and the provision of care by their parents.
Children were seen as inherently depraved. Adults thought
that children were basically bad or evil. It was thought that
parents could overcome this by providing particular childrearing experiences. Many parents believed that if they
administered stern discipline through hard labor, children
would become self-denying, pious adults upon maturity.
Adults prized children for their usefulness in colonization
and for being a good source of cheap labor. Their value in
the colonies increased because of the high rate of infant
mortality.
The premise that the nature of children was sinful
stemmed primarily from the rigid Puritan religious
views of the colonists (Mintz, 2006). These are illustrated in the Day of Doom, a catechism written by
Michael Wigglesworth (1631–1705), which was learned
by almost every child in Puritan New England. Puritan
parents were responsible for providing rigorous moral
and religious training for children, which included stern
discipline. These parents believed it was their responsibility to bring children to religious salvation or conversion. This was accomplished when children were able to
recognize and admit their own sinful nature and become
Christians. The earlier this occurred, the better, from
many parents’ point of view. To help children achieve
religious conversion, they were taught that they must
always obey their parents unquestioningly, especially
their father. They were taught to curb their natural
inclination to commit sins. Aspects of childhood that are
considered acceptable and developmentally appropriate
today were, in Colonial times, viewed as satanic manifestations. Play was considered sinful, and children were
kept occupied by memorizing scripture and religious
songs. This approach to child rearing placed authority
and the welfare of children squarely in the hands of
parents. Based on this approach, the unidirectional
model of parent–child relations became the primary
model of child rearing.
During Colonial times, adults approached their
parenting role in ways that we would today label as
overly involved and borderline abusive. Stemming from
the indifference toward children during the Renaissance, this represented a pendulum swing toward the
opposite stance. There was a heavy emphasis on religious matters and the use of harsh disciplinary methods
to achieve children’s salvation and obedience. Despite
the punitive image, parents had great affection for their
children and showed concern for their welfare in ways
that were thought to be appropriate at that time.
Chapter 1
Nineteenth Century
The 19th century in the United States involved a serious internal conflict: the War Between the States. Prior
to this event, several major views about parenthood
and childhood emerged that had originated during the
Colonial period, and which continue to influence our
current ideas.
Three contradictory philosophies on how to rear
children emerged during this era. These approaches prescribed appropriate parental roles for specific outcomes.
Calvinism. The strongest approach, which received
the most attention, was inspired by the Calvinist
religious movement. This view advocated stern, harsh
use of physical punishment and strict moral instruction
for children, essentially a strong, authoritarian childrearing style. It implied a cause-and-effect between
how a parent trained a child and the outcome in terms
of the child’s character in adulthood. This approach
was thought to be based on the Biblical admonition to
parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and
when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs
22.6, p. 876). Susanna Wesley, mother of brothers John
and Charles Wesley, who were attributed with founding the Methodist movement based on the principles
of Methodism, wrote that her own children would cry
softly in fear of punishment. From her diaries, it appears that children as young as a year old were harshly
corrected. This was thought to promote quiet children
and tranquil households (Cunningham, 2005). She described correction as follows: “. . . when turned a year
old (and some time before) they were taught to fear the
rod and cry softly, by which means they escaped abundance of correction” (Cunningham, 2005, p. 53).
The Industrial Revolution produced dramatic
changes in family life and roles. During the Colonial
period, the father’s central role consisted of providing
the economic support and moral and religious education for children and acting as the disciplinarian, as
such, authoritarianism and fatherhood became intertwined. During and following the Industrial Revolution, fathers were increasingly employed in nonfarm
jobs, which took them away from their families for long
periods. To compensate, mothers assumed increasing
responsibility for the character development and
socialization of children. The mother became the
instructor and central family figure in a child’s life.
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
■
13
Because of this shift within parenting roles and responsibilities, a shift occurred from the harsh Calvinist
approach to a greater emphasis on nurture (Cunningham,
2005). This shift is attributed to the increasing maternal
involvement in all aspects of child rearing. In some very
religious families, physical punishment for character
molding continued.
Environmentalism. As the Calvinist approach began
to wane, a second approach to child rearing emerged
that was influenced by the writings of John Locke
(1699). Locke was known for his tabula rasa theory of
development. In this view, children were believed to
be born with their minds and personalities empty like
blank slates; the child-rearing experiences provided by
parents inscribed the traits that were manifested in
their adult personalities. This is a cause-and-effect view
of child rearing as well, but it was a departure from
the Calvinist- and highly religious-inspired approaches.
It was not as harsh. It emphasized that the model of
behavior presented by parents to children played an
important role in children’s future character development. The strength of a child’s character was thought
to come from exposure to a wide range of experiences
while growing up.
Early Developmentalism. The third approach to
child rearing that emerged during the 19th century is
similar to some contemporary views. Stemming, in part,
from the movement in Europe that advocated early
childhood education via nursery schools and kindergartens, this approach acknowledged the developmental
immaturity of children. If children did not behave appropriately, it was because they did not know any better.
Parents were advised not to be overly concerned about
breaking a child’s will or to be fearful of indulging the
child. Obedience was valued, but it could be coaxed
from children in more humane ways, such as being firm,
using persuasion, and giving rewards rather than physical punishment (Mann & Peabody, 1863). This view can
be considered to be the first developmental approach to
children because it emphasized
■
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■
the role of meeting children’s developmental needs,
the parents’ role in shaping children’s personalities,
the effects of neglect and harsh punishment, and
the effects of gentle care and nurture on development.
14
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Part I
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
Since World War II, changing economic conditions and
the rise of the Women’s movement have left families with
new ideas about gender roles involving working mothers.
The current norm is a two-income family with the vast
majority of women working outside the home throughout
their children’s childhood years.
Twentieth-Century and Current Trends
The 20th century witnessed child-rearing approaches that
ranged from increasing permissiveness, encouraged by
the writings of Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) and Benjamin Spock (1903–1998), to more restrictive and authoritarian approaches, advocated by John Watson (1928) and
others. As scientific information increased and children
were studied in a developmental context, numerous childrearing experts offered detailed, frequently conflicting
child-rearing advice (Bigner & Yang, 1996). The emphasis
became more psychological. Behavior modification based
on positive reinforcement or reward became increasingly
popular. The use of physical punishment to shape children’s behavior was discouraged.
Changes also took place in the expectations of fathers’
involvement with their children. Fathers were encouraged
to take an active role in preparing for and participating in
the birth of their children and in bonding with children
during infancy and thereafter. Men’s greater involvement
in family life was encouraged by the Women’s Movement
during the late 1960s and early 1970s. These changes produced widespread and significant social changes. The emphasis on gender equality encouraged both women and
men to participate in all aspects of life: family, work, and
community involvement.
Significantly, this period was also characterized by
the Civil Rights Movement that forged a new awareness
toward granting equal rights to all citizens, regardless of
racial or ethnic origin. This movement gained momentum in the 1960s with many legislative acts at the federal,
state, and local levels, shifting social attitudes about race
and ethnicity. Many federal programs were initiated,
with the War on Poverty program playing a significant
role. One of these programs remains in effect today as
Project Head Start, a proven educational approach to
prepare children for public school participation. It also
enhances family life, physical well-being, and parental
involvement. Numerous other programs were a part of
the War on Poverty and impacted the lives of many
underserved, inner-city families in the United States.
The dramatic increase in the number of female parents employed outside the home had many repercussions. During World War II, large numbers of women
took the place of men in the war effort to produce the
goods and services needed by the military. Following the
war, with the movement of many families from cities to
the suburbs, women gave up some of their employment
opportunities. Economic conditions, coupled with the
rise of the Women’s Movement, forced families to revise
their ideas about gender roles involving working mothers. A two-income family has become the current norm
as the vast majority of women are employed during the
years when children are born and are growing up.
Teen pregnancy reached a peak following World
War II. Attitudes shifted from stigmatizing adolescent
parenthood to accepting it, but not necessarily condoning
it. Many teen mothers relinquished parental rights when
their child was born, and many children were adopted. As
the numbers of teen mothers grew and families became
Chapter 1
more willing to support the young mother and her child,
fewer children were made available for adoption. Teen
fathers did not receive the attention and acceptance given
to teen mothers. In recent years, this has changed, and
public school systems allow teen parents to continue their
education when they have a child.
The American public became increasingly aware of
the insidious and pervasive presence of incest and sexual abuse of children by parents and family members.
This was partly prompted by a number of well-known
public figures and celebrities sharing information about
their own victimization. The extent of family violence
and addictive behaviors became better known, revealed
by the dramatic increase in children in the foster care
system. The number of incarcerated parents with
addictive behaviors climbed dramatically. This has
accounted for the increase in the number of grandparents who have custody of grandchildren and are actively
raising these children.
Changes in laws and attitudes led to greater acceptance of divorce and, in turn, to the emergence of the
single-parent family. Changes in American society following World War II contributed to the demise of the
traditional nuclear family. Increases in the number of
divorces were accompanied by a rise in the number of
remarriages and blended families. By the end of the
20th century, diversity in family forms and structures
became the norm rather than the exception. Today, a
variety of family forms are considered functional,
healthy, and effective. Poverty and homelessness continue to affect families, children, and society at large.
A number of other contemporary social issues impact parent–child relations directly or indirectly. What
occurs in the larger society affects all individuals and
families to some degree, and the reverse is true as well,
as there is a bidirectional influence. Some of these issues
are controversial and can be divisive in nature.
Societal issues pertaining to public education, violence, addiction, and the drawn-out economic recession, accompanied by a housing and mortgage crisis,
have had far-reaching effects on childhood and family life. Record numbers of resource-strapped families are raising children in poverty, and employment
prospects for young adults are especially challenging.
■ The continuing debates surrounding reproductive
choices, adoption rights, general civil rights, legal
and illegal immigration, and so forth continue.
■
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
■
15
The Convention on the Rights of the Child, drafted by
the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF, 1959)
and formally adopted in 1990, reflects a concern with
the global well-being of children and is an intentional
approach to create and maintain a comprehensive
national agenda for children. The rights address the
best interests of the child, the protection of rights,
nondiscrimination, parental guidance, and survival and
development to name just a few. There are 54 articles
focusing on rights, as well as the implementation of
measures.
FIGURE 1–2. Rights of the child.
Source: Based on United Nations (UNICEF): Convention on the
Rights of the Child www.unicef.org/crc/.
There was a significant turning point in American
culture after September 11, 2001 (9/11). As a nation,
we have been involved in wars on terrorism. Military
families and especially the children in these families
have been deeply affected by deployment and warrelated issues.
■ The increasing presence of the World Wide Web via
personal computers and handheld electronic devices,
as well as the influence of the social media, have
caused a ripple effect in changing communication
patterns, education, and endless other areas of family life in a paradigm shift unlike anything previously
experienced in history. Information overload and less
real-life face time with significant others are new
phenomena linked to the digital age.
■
Parenting Reflection 1–3
Should parents raise their children using identical methods, styles, and approaches? What effects
would such uniformity in child rearing have on adult
outcomes?
Focus Point. The concepts of parenthood and childhood have undergone many changes over the last
2,000+ years. Contemporary ideas on parenting roles
reflect changes in cultural values.
16
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Part I
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
THE PARENTHOOD ROLE
Cultural Influences
Several factors contribute to how people see themselves as
parents, and how they behave in this role (see Figure 1–3).
A number of themes merge into a workable blueprint that
guides the behavior of the parenting role. It is as if someone
takes the pieces of a puzzle, manages to perceive how they
all fit together, and puts them together into a completed
object.
Some factors that contribute to an adult’s concept
of parenting behavior come from past experiences.
New ideas are added as the person gains experience in
parenting children. The contribution of a child to the
delineation of parenting roles is very clear. Family
ecological factors, attitudes about discipline, and an
individual’s past experiences all influence parenting
styles.
The predisposing factors that combine to influence
a parenting style and form a parenting blueprint include
the following:
Research over the past decades assumed that cultural
variations in child-rearing patterns present in the personality and behavioral differences in children. In
theory, differences in social class cause corresponding
differences in child rearing. The patterns found in the
social class groupings are thought to be perpetuated
from one generation to the next, although individual
parents interpret them in different ways.
Numerous studies reported considerable variations
among socioeconomic groups in the ways that children
are reared and in the values that are promoted (Coontz,
2006). For example, middle-class families, in contrast to
lower class families, were believed to use psychologically
harsher methods to control children’s behavior. Middleclass families tend to teach children to delay need gratification, while lower class families tend to promote immediate need gratification. Lower class families appear
to place greater emphasis on conforming to parental
values, unlike middle-class families.
Generally differences between families of different
socioeconomic backgrounds have diminished. There appear to be more similarities than differences in child
rearing. This has been attributed partly to the presence
of the mass media, which portrays middle-class values,
and the fact that more families can achieve a middleclass lifestyle through education and better paying jobs.
Children’s learning styles and the ability to process
information differ dramatically between disadvantaged
and middle-class families (Coontz, 2006). This suggests
that the potential for children’s mental growth may be
strongly influenced by the mothers’ differences in language use and teaching styles. The middle-class values
placed on education and academic achievement may
result in patterns of interaction that promote children’s
problem-solving skills.
Cultural influences: social class, education, or peer
values
■ Developmental time: period of active engagement
in child rearing
■ Structure and nurture: two dimensions that anchor
parenting behavior
■ Family-of-origin influences: modeling from the
family of our own childhood
■ Child influences: how children impact parental
behavior
■ Disciplinary approach: developmentally appropriate
discipline and structure
■ Family ecological factors: family structure and
trends that affect family form
■ Attitudes and parenting styles: beliefs that influence
parental behavior
■
FIGURE 1–3. Interacting factors
influencing parental role behavior.
Cultural influences
Child influences
Developmental
time
Disciplinary
approach
Structure and
nurture
Family ecological
factors
Family-of-origin
influences
Attitudes and
parenting styles
Chapter 1
A parent’s behavioral style is partly guided by the
value system of their social class. Each group maintains
essentially the same common objective in child rearing,
that is, to support children’s growth and development.
The style of each group differs considerably. Middle-class
parents tend to value social achievement, encourage children to acquire knowledge, and expect independence
early in their children’s lives. These differences in values
translate to differences in child-rearing patterns and what
the children are taught.
Synchrony of Parental Style and Child
Development
Parenting style should be congruent, or synchronized,
with the child’s developmental level. For example, the
parenting style during infancy focuses on nurture and
providing tremendous amounts of physical care to meet
the infant’s needs. When families have children of a
broad age range, parenting styles must be mixed, while
still congruent with each child’s developmental level.
Parents must attend to the developmental needs of
their children while attempting to meet their own developmental demands. For example, interactions with
children may be tempered by the pressures on working
parents who juggle family and work roles.
Primary Parenting Functions
Parental behavior and ways of interacting with children
are usually purposeful attempts to meet their children’s
needs (Marsiglio, Hutchinson, & Cohan, 2000). These,
in turn, relate strongly to the goals that adults wish to
accomplish with regard to the socialization of their children. Two broad categories anchor parenting behavior
to prepare children for their future, namely structure
and nurture (Clarke & Dawson, 1998).
Structure describes those aspects of parenting
behavior that aid regulation and lay the foundation for
personality formation and expression. Structure teaches
children personal boundaries, the limits to which they
may go so that they do not infringe on others’ needs and
rights. Structure provides the experiences that promote a
healthy sense of self-worth and a sense of safety and security so that children learn to trust in the appropriate contexts. Structure also helps children develop healthy habits
in thought and behavior; learn values and ethics; and
acquire valued character traits such as honesty, integrity,
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
■
17
and personal honor. Additionally, they develop personal
responsibility for their actions. Structure provides a child
with a healthy, strong sense of self-esteem that permits
growth toward meeting personal potential and becoming
a well-differentiated individual who is valued for distinct
qualities and traits.
Nurture relates to those parenting behaviors
intended to meet a child’s need for unconditional love.
This is necessary for healthy growth and well-being. By
experiencing that he or she is lovable, a child learns to
love others. The assertive care and support that are
given in unconditional ways form the basis of nurture
and support appropriate attachment.
Additionally, parents and caretakers should strive to
provide responsive care, which includes assertive and
supportive components.
Responsive care involves reacting to the child in
an appropriate manner. It requires noticing, understanding, and answering to the behavioral cues and verbal requests of the child. It is expressed when adults
respond to children’s needs in loving, predictable, and
trustworthy ways. It becomes part of the bidirectional
communication between caretaker and child, and supports the formation of basic trust and bonding, because
the child is a part of an interacting unit in which the
child is acknowledged and cared for appropriately. It
resembles a dialogue with bidirectional exchanges.
Two facets of responsive caregiving are assertive
and supportive care. In assertive care, the caregiver
initiates and extends the necessary and appropriate care
to the infant or child. For instance, for new parents or
caretakers, a very young infant’s needs may be difficult
to read, yet they initiate the appropriate assertive care,
without waiting for the child to express its own needs.
Supportive care is expressed when adults offer care to
children but allow them the freedom to accept or reject
the offer because it is offered unconditionally.
Family-of-Origin Influences
Because humans become parents largely without the
assistance of instinct to guide behavior, we rely on other
means to help us learn how to care for a dependent
child. One of the major influences comes from observing our own parents and close caregivers. We unwittingly use them as models for how to act as a parent
(Marsiglio, Hutchinson, & Cohan, 2000). The reactions, perceptions, and feelings that we have about how
18
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Part I
Parent–Child Relations in Social Context
we were raised influence how we approach our own
children. Generally, people who are satisfied with how
they were raised and how they feel about themselves as
adults will probably duplicate the parenting methods
and attitudes of their own parents (Clarke & Dawson,
1998). Conversely, people who are dissatisfied with their
parents’ methods may try to do the opposite of what they
experienced in their family of origin. Another response
is feeling that one’s parents did not provide enough love
or physical affection, and this may lead one to overcompensate with one’s own children.
The experiences we have in our childhood provide
a blueprint for a number of interactional patterns in
adulthood (Marsiglio et al., 2000). There are several
sources for this blueprint:
The goals our parents had for our growth and development
■ The model of parenthood we observed from our parents’ behavior
■ The influence of parenting models that were handed
down from one generation to the next
■
The parenting blueprint we assimilate may not be
helpful when the time comes to assume the role ourselves. It may be outmoded, inappropriate, and unrealistic because circumstances in our family of origin may
not resemble those in our current family.
Not every family system is healthy or functions in a
well-adjusted manner. For example, one or both adults
can be affected by addiction and related disorders, by
mental or emotional disturbances, or by living conditions that hamper the ability to parent. Most attempt to
hide the emotional pain that results from their inability
to function healthily. When this occurs, the adults often
adopt certain parenting behaviors (possibly learned
from their own parental models) and assign roles to the
children that mirror those in their family of origin, even
if these roles are dysfunctional. This illustrates the concept of wholeness and interrelatedness in family systems
theory: What affects one person in a family system
affects everyone to some degree. Patterns for coping
with the stress of an unhealthy family of origin tend to
carry over into future generations.
Based on observations of numerous adults acting as
parents, several models of parenting behavior have been
developed that illustrate how an unhealthy family of
origin influences a person’s own patterns of parenting
(Framo, Weber, & Levine, 2003). There is never a pure
assimilation of one particular model into a person’s
potential parenting behavior; instead, a composite of
behaviors is taken from the various models.
Influence of Children on Parents
Our culture traditionally ascribes the role of learner
to children. Children and adolescents are thought to
need numerous learning experiences to prepare them
for adulthood. They are the objects of adults’ intensive
socialization efforts. The relationship between parents
and children focuses on the configuration of the adult
as teacher and the child as learner. From this viewpoint, there is support for maintaining the unidirectional
model of socialization.
Our culture also constructs the concept of children
as people who are in need of adults’ protection. Children
obviously need assistance in learning the many skills
considered necessary to ultimately function effectively
as adults. Children are dependent on parents for a
longer time than they were earlier in history. The relationship between parent and child has become one of
the last human interactional relationships in which the
use of social power by an adult is largely unquestioned.
Because of the inherent teacher–student quality of this
relationship, the power of adults is accentuated in interactions with children. In addition, the greater physical
size and strength of adults also contributes to the greater
use of their power over children. According to many
psychologists and sociologists, this has caused the child
to become somewhat of a victim.
Power, or rather the way in which it is used, may be
the culprit. Some adults use power to control and manipulate, rather than facilitate, children’s growth and development. This causes difficulty in the relationship, especially
as children grow older (de Mol & Buysse, 2008).
With the advent of family systems theory, which
describes interactions within family relationships as having
a reciprocal effect upon participants, researchers began
acknowledging the impact that children have on their
parents’ behavior and the effects that they have in a
number of other areas, including (de Mol & Buysse, 2008):
■
■
■
■
■
■
Parental health
Adults’ activities
Parental employment status
Use and availability of family financial resources
Parents’ intimate relationship
Parents’ interactions and community interactions
Chapter 1
Parental personality development
Parents’ values, attitudes, and belief systems
■ Parents’ life plans
■ Adults’ feelings of having control over their lives
■
■
Disciplinary Approach
The approach parents take in teaching their children the
values and beliefs their family hold will shape parenting
styles in a variety of ways. The goals that parents hold
for their children’s growth and development usually
arise out of altruism. What adults desire for children and
how most people shape their parenting activities and
behavior relate to what they believe children need to
become effective adults. Ordinarily, most parents want
their child to
have a happy and fulfilling life;
become a person who functions independently, can
be employed, and have constructive relationships;
■ acquire the skills and competencies that permit
effective functioning as an adult in society; and
■ acquire behaviors and attitudes that allow participation
as a good citizen within a democratic society (Bornstein
& Toole, 2010).
■
■
Parents think about the behaviors and social competencies that they feel are important for children to
acquire to become effectively functioning adults. Adults
believe that children need these skills, and they shape
them as part of children’s behavioral repertoire. Social
competence usually refers to a group of attributes that
are believed to be essential in assisting a person to make
full use of personal resources to cope productively with
the circumstances of life. The way that parents provide
structure for children is shaped to facilitate the acquisition of these essential social skills.
The parental goals in child rearing and discipline
are guided by personal and societal influences. Adults’
perceptions of what children need are based on complex personal opinions that reflect the realities of life
and family experiences. Parents’ opinions about what
children need are based on, among other things, their
own past experiences, the values from their families of
origin, and the philosophies of parenting they have
developed as adults. These perceptions can be tempered by specific events, such as a child’s physical or
mental disability or when divorce changes the structure of the family.
The Ecology of Parent–Child Relations
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19
Parenting should be adapted to the child’s developmental stage. As the offspring establish goals, most parents realize that they must change how they interact
with their children to facilitate new developmental
goals. Parents can seek out information and assistance in
learning how to adapt and change their behavior in
response to developmental changes in their children
(Bigner & Yang, 1996). This represents one of the major
challenges of effective parenting behavior.
Family Ecological Factors
The influence of various environmental systems on the
functioning of the parent–child microenvironment can
be observed in a variety of ways, but they can be difficult to accurately anticipate or measure. Our behavior
is influenced by a number of environmental factors.
Our past experience with children is one factor. Our
behavior can be influenced by internal factors, such as
blood sugar levels, hormone balances, sleep deprivation,
and emotional states. Sociocultural factors that affect
our behavior include value systems and beliefs about
appropriate role behavior. Other factors are more physical, for example, where we live (e.g., in an apartment or
in a single-family residence…
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