Must include citations and sources from these books, WHICH YOU MUST OWN I WILL NOT BE PROVIDING A COPY, YOU MUST OWN THESE BOOKS! Here are the books:
Why don’t we listen better- James Petersen
Helping Skills For Human Service Workers Francis and Weikel
I need discussion post replies for my discussion post I will be providing my initual post and then three post I need replies to.
Empathy
After reading chapter 3, I got to understand the meaning of and importance of empathy, warmth, as well as genuineness in establishing a therapeutic alliance with clients in the human service field (Stewarts , Zediker and Witteborn, 2014).Communication is described as the continuous, collaborative process of verbal as well as nonverbal denotation making. I learned that no one person could completely control a communication incident. Also, no single person can be answerable for a communication consequence. I learned about how choices, cultures, as well as identities, figure in all communicating, and how many ordinary communication occasions, as well as conversations, are the most persuasive (Stewarts, Zediker and Witteborn, 2014). I also learned the critical skill of “nesting,” which helps one to deal with difficulties associated with the communication.
The book covers all the crucial subparts of interpersonal communication without being a dry “survey of the literature.” I learned how communication and interpersonal communication are related; how identities are co-constructed; the ins and outs of verbal and nonverbal codes; perceiving and listening; expressing and disclosing; communicating with family and friends; communicating with intimate partners; coping with communication problems like deception, defensiveness, power, and verbal aggression; conflict management; bridging cultural differences; and promoting dialogue (Stewarts, Zediker and Witteborn, 2014).
Here are some of the main points that the readings make: communication affects the quality of one’s life is that personal relationships affect one’s physical health. Social media promotes or destroys interpersonal contact, depending on how one uses it. Identities are built in the ways we listen to as well as talk with each other. The most effective listening is mindful, empathic, and dialogic. You can build relationships by carefully being open with and to other people. It’s crucial to separate messages from meta-messages in family talk. There are several specific ways to communicate intimacy, affection, and social support (Stewarts, Zediker and Witteborn, 2014). One can learn how to cope with hurtful words and how to reduce defensiveness. There are ways to handle the break-up of relationships gracefully and with minimal hurt. There are several specific ways to build relationships with people culturally different from you. Dialogue can help turn enemies into friends. In my opinion the chapter was very educative.
References
France, K., & Weikel, K. (2014). Helping skills for human service workers building relationships and encouraging productive change (3rd ed.). Springfield, IL: Charles C Thomas, Publisher.
Discussion Post I need replies to:
1st Post: Julie Kearns
Create Connections for Transformation
Empathy, warmth, and genuineness combine to create one important key to assisting those who seek the help of human service professionals: connection. Connection with another individual builds a bond of trust that allows for openness in expressing information and feelings within a counseling relationship. This is not a friendship, it is a professional relationship that permits the human services professional to act as a guide, not as an instructor or drill sergeant or boss. I think this is an important distinction.
France and Weikel (2014) cite Gabel’s 2013 work on transformational leadership. I would extend a bit more to include Mezirow’s (1991) transformative learning theory. Mezirow (1991) postulated that learning occurs as a result of a crisis in one’s life. In dealing with behaviors, he stated, “Behavior based on mindlessness is rigid and rule governed, while that based on mindfulness is rule guided” (Mezirow, 1991, p. 114). Being in the moment, mindful of how we listen to others, the concept is applied both to the counselor and can be applied to assist the client in breaking long-held rigid and potentially erroneous or detrimental beliefs.
France and Weikel (2014) emphasize empathy, warmth, and genuineness create an alliance. This alliance creates a cooperative atmosphere in which the human services counselor and the client work together. Stewart, Zediker, and Witteborn (2012), explain that the skill of “encouraging” further assists in drawing out information from another person; therefore, it is important to have the skills of empathy, warmth, and genuineness (France & Weikel, 2014) combined with the encouragement to create a strong connection of trust.
The above referenced work of Mezirow (1991) is also significant in our current study as in that particular section of his book deals with meaning-making through reflection. I have a strong background in adult education, and some of the information we are learning is starting to merge with many of the adult learning theories I have studied, transformative learning theory in particular (Mezirow, 1991).
References
France, K. & Weikel, K. (2014). Helping skills for human service workers: Building relationships and encouraging productive change(3rd ed.). Springfield, IL: Charles C. Thomas Publisher Inc.
Mezirow, J. (1991). Transformative dimensions of adult learning. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Stewart, J., Zediker, K.E., & Witteborn, S. (2012). Empathetic and dialogic listening. In J. Stewart (Ed.), Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (11th ed.) (pp. 192-207). New York, NY: McGraw Hill
2nd Post:
Jason Peterson
DB 4
Empathy is important because it allows you to step into the other person shoes to understand how they are feeling and communicate your understanding back to them. In the human services field it is our job to help and make the client feel at ease. Building a bond is most important so that the client trusts you and will eventually show improvement. Nonverbal cues connect with verbal ones (Stewart, Duck & McMahan, 2012). Nonverbal cues can be used to express empathy such as letting the client talk and engaging them with your eyes. Nodding your head when they are speaking and when it is time to respond, reflect back in a caring way to them what you heard them say. Your attitude and feelings toward the other person are also communicated nonverbally (Stewart, Duck & McMahan, 2012). This can be displayed by silence, tone of voice and averting your eyes.
When dealing with my subordinates I make sure to give them my full attention. Since they are so much younger I do my best not to lose them when they are telling me personal and important things. I look them in the eyes, I nod and I always reflect back in a caring way. Even though sometimes I may not agree with their thoughts, I never let them know my stance. Although I’m older I always put myself in their shoes and try to understand their thought process.
Reference:
Stewart, J. R., Duck, S., & McMahan, D. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Brandi Smith
DB4 – Empathy, Warmth, and Genuineness
After completing the reading this week, it gave me some insight on areas that I can learn to communicate better in regards to warmth. Being warm does not prevent you from encouraging clients to consider the consequences of their behavior, although warmth does suggest that you refrain from offering judgmental comments conveying your own opinions of issues being discussed (France and Weikel, 2014). In having warmth I think that it is important for people to not only know the person they are communicating with but also know the type of responses they should be giving. Also, with warmth, the person that is listening is using dialogic listening. Dialogic listening helps the people in the conversation build meaning together (Stewart, Witteborn and Zediker, 2012). Warmth and dialogic listening can serve as an aid in acknowledging the speaker’s feelings and being able to move past how the listener is feeling at that present moment. This is a learning tool for me as I sometimes provide my own thoughts and opinions on what the speaker is saying rather than listening to the message they are trying to convey. Sometimes you may find yourself ready to make a judgmental statement that do not arise from a need to preserve life (France and Weikel, 2014). Practicing warmth in my everyday listening can provide a drastic change to how I communicate with others. I also believe that providing more warmth will also assist with how others may see me as flexible and confusing according to my DISC. In fostering relationships with others I do not believe it is possible to carry out a healthy relationship without genuiness, empathy, and warmth.
France, K. & Weikel, K. (2014). Helping skills for human service workers: Building relationships and encouraging productive change(3rd ed.). Springfield, IL: Charles C. Thomas Publisher Inc.
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (11th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education.
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